Santa is making your children incapable of thinking.

In response to a friend’s post “Reading comprehension is a serious epidemic in this fucking country.”
Forget reading for a minute.
First you’ve got to learn how to think.

The problem starts with Santa — and to a lesser degree, a man dressed up in a bunny costume who I assume is meant to represent Jesus — a magical Palestinian hippy who wandered around in the desert telling people to be nice to each other, while his father killed thousands — whose methods included turning people into pillars of salt, (among other nasty things).

We teach the lie.
But the kids know it’s a lie.
Stay quiet ‘bout the lie.
More stuff if you keep our lie!
It’s for your comrades they’d say.
Take this stuff and look away, lest you be burdened with a wretched truth of knowing.

As toddlers, we are barraged by the Conclave of Hoddypeaks, otherwise known as advertisers.
They inform us to consume. They demand it. They bellow from every laptop, TV and device: “Buy as much shit as possible, motherfucker or your friends will ridicule and shame you.”

“Hey Donny — that ferret looks nice stapled to your head — but wouldn’t it look better if we could murder a family of orangutans and turn it into a wig?”

You know it!

We, in turn, cry to our parents — who, out of their real and genuine love for us, overspend with their virtual shackles — the credit card. We are then forced to go to school and we are fed a mandatory diet of “historical” propaganda and contradictions. History is a series of lies agreed on, and if you stand up in class to point out a problem with the narrative — then fuck you — take a de-merit on your fucking test. “That goes on your permanent record you clown-show blunderbuss.”

Our “founding” documents with their goblin agenda declare, “all men are created equal,” while referring to natives as “savages” who must be wiped out.

Equal?
Fuck you. Have this blanket and die.
Your god is the earth?
Fuck you. Mine is the dollar.

Hitler was evil.

That’s not controversial. But what they fail to mention is that he was inspired by the Native genocide in America and eugenicists such as Head Jerkass President Wilson who oversaw the forced sterilization of 60 thousand Americans.

It’s okay — we’ll call it Thanksgiving…
And make it a government holiday.

Meanwhile, this genocide was powered by African slaves who were brought over in literal shackles. The books will call it, “an unfortunate chapter in our history,” and act like it’s over. If the books even mention Jim Crow, redlining, the Tuskegee experiments, the MOVE bombings or the prison industrial complex, the teacher can just skip ahead and remind everyone that we’ve got black history month.

What they won’t mention is that the government was found guilty of murdering Martin Luther King in a 1999 civil trial and act like a statue has brought the score back to zero, and no one noticed.

You’re black? Have some syphilis.
You’re Japanese? Suck it. Get in the concentration camps before we cut off your dick.
You’re Native American? Just fuck off — we pay murderers to eradicate people like you from the earth.
Shocking that Hitler was inspired by that one.

They won’t ever mention that history is a cover-up written by blind mole rats, all for the murdering assholes that put us where we are today. The cannibalistic-winged-shape-shifting ultra-rich own the press, the publishers and the movie and TV companies.

The press decides what’s news.
The publishers decides who gets a book.
Movie companies decide who’s on Netflix — and so on and so forth.

And those who they choose to be in these positions will have opinions just safe enough, just dull enough or just juvenile enough to keep you asleep and distracted. They want us barely smart enough to do a factory job, with a smaller subset of politicians, lawyers and CEOs with just the right brain-wattage and decorum to manage the wage slaves being kicked in the dick, so they can keep the money-train rolling. But don’t mention we’re building robots to put ALL OF YOU out of your job… especially middle-management. Middle management can go fuck themselves!

The “history” of those who have written the narrative fails to mention all the deceptions and false flags that got us into all the wars. Forget about The Sons of Liberty dressing as Natives to dump tea in the harbor, and how the US and England made up after that — with the bankers and the murdering asshole maggot oligarchs declaring a British-American Federation to be run by the super rich, as outlined by the Rhodes Round Table, a secret society which wasn’t secret at all. The mongrel confidence men in charge love to publicly shriek about the importance of voting, while privately both “sides” are funded by the same neo-robber-barons in charge. If we start to ask too many questions they know that they can just start another war and shut you the fuck up. That’s what wars are for. Who needs voting when they’ve got gerrymandering and hackable Diebold voting machines?

Just sink the Lusitania — don’t mention they talked that over with King George V and that’s how we got into World War I — which was brought on by our banker friends across the ocean in the first place. Don’t mention that Herbert Hoover ordered the army to attack American veterans on the White House lawn. Hey — sorry about those dead Americans we killed… By the way, I’m the president — and part of a long line of politicians who have done shit like this. Look away. Nothing to see here.

Conveniently forget to mention that future CIA head Allen Dulles and Ike’s future Secretary of State John Foster Dulles, (his brother), helped set up the deal with the Bank of England to fund Hitler, (an inconvenient fact), so that the ultra rich wobnobblers could have their money orgy. Imagine that. There is no better MK ultra mind-control than piles of gold. And money orgies are much easier when you come up with a lie about liberating those who are a part the Anglo-Saxon federation — AKA, English speaking white people.

Forget that Henry Stimson, (our secretary of war during WW2), was on record describing how to position the boats in Pearl Harbor to facilitate the US forces getting murdered just right, so their murdering asses could do more murdering.

Pretend Truman wasn’t a murdering asshole.
Pretend murdering the cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were necessary.
Pretend they didn’t come up with a plan to crash planes into America and blame it on foreigners to get us into a war. They didn’t pull it off, but it was called Operation Northwoods.
Pretend they didn’t try to erase the JFK investigation by killing the “assassin.”

Now let’s go back to forgetting.

Forget The gulf of Tonkin incident and the mass murder that created.
Forget President Johnson and the sinking of the USS Liberty, because he was the kind of president who believed that American soldiers had to just fucking die to achieve their narrative.
Forget FDR’s witch hunt against gay people and his subsequent perjury.
Forget the Pentagon papers. Forget that Reagan faked a letter to start murdering people in Grenada. Forget Iran contra.
Forget Bush Senior hired an actor to spread the “babies killed in incubators” lie to get us into the gulf war. Forget WMDs.
Forget that day Dubbya was reading stories to kids in that school room… Which reminds me that I was explaining why people can’t critically think.

Art classes teach us to “draw within the lines.” Standardized testing requires memorization — because fuck thinking. Memorization proves that we can take orders. In our late teens, the power elite issue our very own shackles, (just like they gave to our parents), in the form of a credit card. We are told we can’t make a living without college. Fun fact — that just further shackles us. If you’re lucky, you’ll get hit by a train — but for most, college streamlines the thoughtlessness process. Do as you are told.

Maybe your daddy is rich and paid for you to go to Harvard. Well, then you can grow up to be a politician and lie to all the poor people so they think the ultra elite are super great, because they’ve fed us the lie that everyone can be rich one day. Squirt squirt — Let them whip out their dicks and jerk off all over the flowers — because everywhere they spread their seed, starts a wonderful blossoming of magic. Hey — what’s that in my eye? Oh! It’s magic!

As to our “fucking country,” — as we transition into adulthood, for those who want to — they allow a period of time where we can fuck whoever we want — not financially — but with your naughty bits. Get it out of your system and have fun — fuck away — stick it in the butt-hole if that’s your thing — with consent of course… Because — wink, wink — as long as you’re spending, you’re achieving their goal and driving up your debt.

And when you come out of your alcohol and drug fueled “fucking phase,” they’ve found another way to fuck you, because you’re even more of a slave to the system. Then you have children of your own, and tell them of the magic of Santa. That’s what it’s all about. We indoctrinate our children into a life of self-deception via Santa Claus so that we can give them that taste of magic that we felt when we were too young to know better. In the process, we feed the corporate monster which requires our debt peonage, to feed the corporate beast so that it can butt-fuck us with a pile of toxic garbage in our back yards.

You may think this sounds totally bleak.

Well it is.

But it doesn’t have to be.

It doesn’t require unicorns and wizard-spells. You can give your children that taste of magic via the arts, culture and giving them a true education. The universe is vastly more interesting than Santa or the latest Hollywood blockbuster, which is likely a propagandistic partnership with the Department of Defense — further indoctrinating future generations into a culture of death and destruction — sponsored in part by Santa.

Celebrate the miracle of life — put down the fucking credit card. Put down the phone. Hopefully you will start to learn to think for yourself — then you can focus on reading-comprehension skills.

Happy Yuletide greetings, you filthy heathens!

(Props to Babz who put this idea in my head about a year ago.)

@RodWebber